H/T Sahar for the Gurkha link. There is a section on Taliban fighters which will be of interest to humorists worldwide.
The Taliban know very well that we listen to their radio chatter. And that chatter is some of the most hilarious chatter I’ve ever heard. Sometimes when I listen, through an interpreter, nobody can stop laughing. I’ll have to take a scanner over there and record some Taliban chatter and get it translated for you. You might think they are the biggest goof balls on the planet.
A soldier told me that he heard the Taliban chattering, “Don’t shoot at the airplanes! They shoot back!” On a recent tour, the Taliban spotted Gurkha soldiers, who look like Hazaras and so the Gurkhas can easily pass for Afghans. The Taliban asked over the radio, “Who are these guys?” “I don’t know,” came the answer, “but they’re better than the ANA!”
Sometimes the Taliban sing to each other at night, and using their radios they take turns requesting for certain Taliban to sing their favorite songs. Last year during one unfolding attack (the Taliban were getting into position), one Taliban kept saying over the radio “Allah u Akbar!” The Taliban commander kept telling him to shut up. But every few minutes the guy would say it again, “Allah u Akbar!” Finally the commander said, “Shut up! I’m going to stuff your mouth full of shit when we get back!” The drug-dealing Taliban curse like sailors.
Follow-up question: what are the favorite songs of the Taliban? (choose from Oh La La, Chikni Chameli, Sheila Ka Jawani, Munni Badnam Hui,…..any ones that I have missed out?)