This post is by Orbala (female Pashtoon blogger). comments?
The Problem of Marriage among Pashtuns in the West – Part I: The Problem(s)
*Disclaimer: The topic of this post is marriage among Pashtuns raised in the West with those who are raised back home (Afghanistan/Pakistan/Pukhtunkhwa). Please note that I’m not talking about those marriages that take place between two partners (one from the West, one from back home) who choose the marriage knowing well in advance that they were both willing to reconcile their major differences because they love each other. Some of these couples, I know them personally, are happily engaged (a couple of them are married as well), and I hope that this post will not be offensive to you! No I hope and pray very sincerely that you live lifetimes of happiness, love, and peace with each other and that you are blessed in every way possible!
Just thought I should make that clear since I fear some might misunderstand my point and observations. I’m also speaking *generally*, not taking any individual cases into consideration. If you’ve an exceptional case, please do share it with us–anonymously so, if you’d prefer.
The main problem that leads to much frustration among young Pashtun women and men is that our parents raise us (boys and girls) here in the west, educating us here, allowing us to be exposed to different lifestyles and a different culture, new ways of thinking and seeing things – but when we’re “of age” to marry, they take us to Pakistan/Afghanistan to get married. Their intentions are, of course, positive, and I’ll discuss those momentarily as well. But for now, I want to explain why this leads to problems and troubles for the couples involved in the marriage.