Browncast Ep 42: American Arranged Marriage

Another BP Podcast is up. You can listen on Libsyn, AppleSpotify, and Stitcher. Probably the easiest way to keep up the podcast since we don’t have a regular schedule is to subscribe at one of the links above.

You can also support the podcast as a patron (the primary benefit now is that you get the podcasts considerably earlier than everyone else…this podcast was posted a week ago).

Probably the number #1 reason that the “Browncast” is of interest to me is that I can talk to people who are different from me in some deep and important manner. This podcast is a conversation with Amit, an Indian American who is doing a medical residency. Raised on the “best coast” of the USA, after some conventional dating travails, he has decided he will go the route of an “arranged” matched.

If you listen, you will see that the process has been a positive one for Amit, and it includes much more flexibility and volition than most Americans might imagine.

I went into the discussion mildly skeptical and came out of it with an appreciation for how people can make different choices, but those choices are probably the best for them.

I would really appreciate if regular readers/commenters would leave more positive feedback/ratings, especially on Apple and Stitcher.

9 thoughts on “Browncast Ep 42: American Arranged Marriage”

  1. The arranged marriage visits my parents and relatives took me on were all an uncomfortable, awkward waste of time. It can be a real source of marital misery with incompatible couples forced together out of familial pressure to get hitched. I met my wife via which allowed me to find someone really in line with my preferences. Been together for 4.5 years now, we have yet to have our first argument and prefer hanging out with each other more than anything else.

    1. Are there many (any ?) examples of resulting in cross-cultural alliances (I mean across lines of language, religion etc.) ?

      A podcast/poll on couples would be great.

    2. ” met my wife via which allowed me to find someone really in line with my preferences. ”

      Is big in even non Indian (pakistani/Bangladeshi) origin folks as well? I am presuming that you are non Indian origin though. Apologies if you aren’t

      1. It is commonly used by Pakistanis both in the home country and abroad. There is a UK site that is also popular although the functionality of that isn’t as good.

        1. Interesting. might then be the only Indian startup with a significant presence in Pakistan. Lol.

          1. Yeah, i have heard about other Indian products doing well in Pakistan, never thought would be up there

  2. My 2 cents (not heard the podcast yet):

    Arranged marriages can succeed when parents and children (i.e., prospective bride, groom) are on the same wavelength and have roughly the same preferences. Parents need to understand their kids very well to arrange matches that don’t provoke discomfort and disappointment.

    They also have a better chance of working in cultures where individually-guided dating is the norm, has been tried and failed. Where arranged marriages are institutionalized, like in India, lots of people end up marrying out of familial pressure and a sense of obligation. Since divorce is frowned upon, a lot of them get locked into lifelong loveless marriages.

  3. It is so hard for me to think if I would have had an arranged marriage. Probably not, but can’t really say.

    I met my wife (well she obv wasn’t my wife then) as a matter of total coincidence on the Magdalene Bridge over a decade ago. She just happened to be a friend of my third cousin (share the same paternal great great grand father) studying at Cambridge whom I didn’t know beforehand but had made acquaintance of due to the shared Kashmiri surname.

    So in effect I got married due to my great great grand dad but without him arranging for anything 🙂

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