The anxieties behind narrative of “Love Jihad”

By GauravL 42 Comments

I finally completed Dr Ambedkar’s fascinating book on Pakistan after reading it on and off for years. Though he comes across as an essentialist in some of his arguments, many fault-lines Dr. Ambedkar points out hold true even 70 years after the publication of the book.

(I plan to write about that book sometime later – but especially for those who don’t identify with Hindutva I will highly recommend that book)

Dr. Ambedkar says the following in this book PAKISTAN OR THE PARTITION OF INDIA during his polemic against Purdah.

The evil consequences of purdah are not confined to the Muslim community only. It is responsible for the social segregation of Hindus from Muslims which is the bane of public life in India. This argument may appear far fetched and one is inclined to attribute this segregation to the unsociability of the Hindus rather than to purdah among the Muslims. But the Hindus are right when they say that it is not possible to establish social contact between Hindus and Muslims because such contact can only mean contact between women from one side and men from the other

This is the core motivation that has lead to the popularization of term Love-Jihad. The anxieties of Hindus are not motivated largely by the fear that “Muslims will abduct their daughters and sisters and forcibly convert them”. That exists largely in the straw-man.

Their anxieties stem from the following

  • The practice of Purdah/Burqa and in general sexist conservatism in Islam means there is more contact between Hindu women and Muslim men than the other way round as Dr. Ambedkar said.
  • Almost every Hindu has heard anecdotes of Muslim boys “hoodwinking” their women and “brainwashing” them which often ends with their conversion to Islam. I have myself heard 3 such anecdotes – one particularly powerful one where a daughter of a hardcore ShivSainik married a Muslim and “chose” to live the next years of her life in the Burqa. Friends of her claim to have not seen her face in years. Such cases were particularly common during the initial Chat-Room time of the 2000s with anonymity & fake names.
  • In these cases, there is often no illegality which leads to more frustration on the Hindu side. The only cases where there might be legal room for action are cases where there is the deliberate use of fake aliases. Even then the statements from “victims” are difficult to obtain.
  • The practice of Polygamy in the Muslim community means that logically there will be a paucity of women. While the numbers state that polygamy is not a significant practice in all communities in India (even Muslims) the legal sanction of the practice goes a long way in escalating Hindu anxieties.
  • There are far fewer cases (atleast anecdotally) where the inter-faith marriage are other way round. Most people haven’t heard of these. I know only one such anecdote and even in that case the children are culturally raised as Muslims albeit extremely liberal ones (there was some ostracization from the Hindu Brahmin side not unlike one faced by Peshwa Bajirao)

Unsurprisingly, the liberal attack/busting of Love-Jihad claims never address these anxieties but go on to straw-man the Hindu claims. The only ones who pay attention to these claims are the Hindutva forces. I believe this issue is particularly underappreciated as the reason for polarization in Indian society & politics.

Terrorists who indulge in violence are often labeled as “brainwashed”. The Chinese state’s “re-education” policies are called “brainwashing”. Masses who vote for demagogues are called “brainwashed” by propaganda. By extension Is a Woman who goes under the Purdah as an Adult or as a child also “Brainwashed”? Is Religious conversion ALWAYS “brainwashing”?

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42 Replies to “The anxieties behind narrative of “Love Jihad””

  1. Gaurav,
    Have you read ‘Shivratri’ and ‘Dhar Aani Kaath’ by Nahrhar Kurundkar? His essay ‘Muslim Manacha Shodh’ is quite enlightening even today. It merits an English translation and perhaps even a post here on this forum if anyone cares to take that task on. As you may know he was a true progressive, associated with ‘Rashtra Seva Dal’ and a close associate of N G Gore, S M Joshi, Hamid Dalwai et al. I wish Modern day progressives would learn from his intellectual honesty.
    2) The name ‘Love Jihad’ is provocative and alarming. It signals that this is an organized and planned activity on the part of the Muslim males. I personally think that it is not. I however do think it is a ‘best practice’ many Muslim boys follow. They do not preculde Hindu women from their search provided they also meet other criteria they have (attractiveness, modesty, family values etc). Conversion is an absolute prerequisite.
    3) I personally know at least five women, two among my relatives, who have married Muslim males, have converted to Islam and are raising their children in their new faith. I do know one woman who has NOT converted, but has given her two daughters Muslim names and is raising them in both faiths.
    4) I only know one Muslim woman, my mother’s friend who married a Hindu man 40 years ago. She was from Satyashodhak Samaj, so not sure if she counts as ‘normal’ Muslim. She did not convert to Hinudism but did take her husband’s last name while keeping her Muslim first name. Her children were brought up Atheists and given Indic names.
    5) Among those 5 women who converted, one is a Physician educated in the US, married to another US trained physician. She still sent her kids to mosques weekly and brought them up quite devout.They do however attend functions organized by the Hindu side of the family all the while excusing themselves from the religious part of the functions (pooja).
    One woman/girl was barely 18, a first year BA student! She eloped with a boy from her college. She did go in Purdah never to be seen in public again. The family reconciled to the extent of seeing the grandchildren but she was never seen at social functions or even talked about much.
    6) Our parents’ household help is Neo-Buddhist, who constantly worried about Muslim boys chasing her teenage daughter and married her off at 18 despite my parents’ pleading/cajoling/enticements (offering to pay for books and supplies.. as tuition is free) to keep her in college. She cited examples of girls getting incited. We do not have any independent corroboration.

    1. CreativeLogical,
      “Have you read ‘Shivratri’ and ‘Dhar Aani Kaath’ by Nahrhar Kurundkar? His essay ‘Muslim Manacha Shodh’ is quite enlightening even today. It merits an English translation and perhaps even a post here on this forum if anyone cares to take that task on. As you may know he was a true progressive, associated with ‘Rashtra Seva Dal’ and a close associate of N G Gore, S M Joshi, Hamid Dalwai et al. I wish Modern day progressives would learn from his intellectual honesty. ”
      — No i should i guess – have read Mr Dalwai’s work and also some essays on him. Even today their is a small organization under Dabholkar’s ANIS which is Muslim Satyashodhak mand. They organize Blood donation on EID and so on. I follow their work – but whats sad is they don’t seem to get enough traction in the community. Half the people at their meetings are hindu atheists from ANIS and allied groups. Sadly Mr Dalwai who himself was a great reformer died early and we dont have many who have taken up his mantle. Interestingly Mr Dabholkar’s son is named after Hamid Dalwai.
      https://www.facebook.com/muslimsatyashodhak/

      “One woman/girl was barely 18, a first year BA student! She eloped with a boy from her college. She did go in Purdah never to be seen in public again. The family reconciled to the extent of seeing the grandchildren but she was never seen at social functions or even talked about much.”
      Exactly like the case i mentioned. Such anecdotes really scare people (rightly so)

      1. The Satyashodhak Samaj…
        Not only, they do not get any traction, they are reviled, harassed and deemed outcast by most Muslims. It does not get reported by the liberal Marathi media (Loksatta/MT/ABP et al) and they (rightly) do not want the right wing media to do any stories on them as they would simply be used as a stick to beat up the Muslims.
        Not sure if you know, a Satyashodhak and a writer of some repute, Mumtaj Rahimatpure was denied burial right in Muslim Kabaristan after her death a number of years ago.
        On a different but related note, Most Muslims in Marathwada/Vidarbha are Dakhani, never spoke Marathi, never dressed or ate like Maharashtrians (due to Nijami rule perhaps?) but the ones from the South Maharashtra and Konkan regions have been mostly Marathi by culture. But I see a rapid change in them in the last 30 years. It was uncommon to find a woman in Burkha in Kolhapur/Sangli/Belgaav but now it is a common site. I also hear them speak this weird Urdu. I even spotted a few Abayas on the steets of Kolhapur two years ago!

        1. Yes. Been hearing these things in fb comment threads never in mainstream media.

          The change is very drastic. I am just 30 years old. But the Western MH Muslims I remember at age of 10 is not the picture anymore. Especially in Konkan. These communities were very integrated till 40 yrs ago I hear. Lot of Arab money has come in since 90s. Ratnagiri is particularly a high Burqa and extremely Humid city.

  2. gaurav, i suppose “all politics is local” as the adage goes. There are countless urban pockets countrywide where the notion of majority-minority is senseless. I live in a broader area that feels like a muslim plurality one. I know many christians in particular are convinced that muslim guys are targeting girls from their community. These are people who have muslim friends and may have even debated this topic, as such its not an online mediated conversation. That said, the issue can be handled on the community level, and somehow it gets a place in the hindu-nationalist discourse vastly out of proportion to its relevance. Somehow its necessary to always assert that no virtue can be attributed to muslims qua muslims, and all vices of muslims are because of islam. I don’t even think the folks who write these scare pieces put forth these views in good faith, and the larger goal is always hindu consolidation.
    Sorry to drag on, but had another thought about ambedkar’s insight about how purdah enforces religious segregation. I’ve come to feel that because of purdah, the opportunity for muslim and non-muslim women to build social trust is lost, and contrary to what i’ve seen in other societies, most common hindu-muslim friendships are between guys. For all the analysing we do about hindu-muslim this and that , the dynamic at play is actually muslim/ non-muslim. Entering a muslim house means entering a completely different social environment, the sense of which is independent of whether you are chistian/hindu/jain/sikh ect. That environment is not something most women admire or aspire to in any way, and i see a lot of intense disdain for muslims coming from women.

    1. Yup
      ” I’ve come to feel that because of purdah, the opportunity for muslim and non-muslim women to build social trust is lost, and contrary to what i’ve seen in other societies, most common hindu-muslim friendships are between guys. I see a lot of intense disdain for Muslims coming from women.”
      disdain, and even patronizing condescension which is natural imo

  3. “I plan to write about that book sometime later – but especially for those who dont identify with Hindutva I will highly recommend that book”

    Why so, though? I mean Ambedkar comes across far too critical of muslims than Hindus on the book. Its not like his Annihilation of caste that Hindutva folks would be uneasy.

    Dhulipala own assessment was, out of all his work, Ambedkar comes across the most “Hindu” in this book.

    1. “Dhulipala own assessment was, out of all his work, Ambedkar comes across the most “Hindu” in this book.”
      I heard him on the browncast – but i have to say i dont agree with his assessment. IMO Ambedkar does come of as Essentialist wrt Islam but larger points about Pakistan he makes are made with cold-hearted pragmatism and if i dare call it so “Nationalism”. I would glean that wrt vision he had for India – he saw muslim conservatism & its reactionary Hindu conservatism as the biggest stumbling blocks. Hence his case for complete population transfer. He foresaw problems with robust working of state with all the concessions & monkey balancing the state needed to do. That was one alternative. He didnt agree with Savarkars vision as well. And I think he also wanted a strong center which made him not positively inclided towards Cabinet mission plan.
      Some of the arguments he puts in the book are difficult to counter without Moral Highground – as Ambedkar himself seems to driven very dispassionately. I have read large portions of Annilation of Caste & Who are the Shudras – his style is largely unchanged though this book is more pragmatic imo

      1. Ambedkar from 40s started appearing more “nationalistic” and conciliatory 2wards Congress with his final showmanship in the constituent assembly where Shivaji, Prtihviraj etc in his speeches and all. On having his difference with Savarkar, yeah he would be Hindu-nat had he totally agreed with Savarkar. But thorough out the book he makes his case that he as a dalit is willing to live with Hindus than with muslims. As Dhulipala says he totally combines dalits with Hindus and poses them as one block against muslims.

        The book has the lines similar 2 “Every evil Hindus have, muslims have it as well and more” and “muslims are not nationalist” . I mean if this not what more “Hindu” like than don;t know what;s more Hindu like.

        1. We could write exactly similar critiques of Christianity vs Muslims without being a Christian right? Some things r objectively true to not always be so only if it’s Your Own Tribe.
          I got the nationalistic/pragmatic flavour more robustly than Hindu one as Dhulapia claims. Esp – wrt overcompensatory representation which some Nationalist Muslims were claiming – his position their is also of a constitutionalist similar to his position wrt 370.

  4. S Asian hijabis in America can get quite promiscuous. It is counterintuitive. But human desires win, when some chances to secretly do things arise, like commonly in the West, where social networks are no where near as strong and two-parent working households end up giving relatively a lot more “alone time” to kids. In S Asia itself, it isn’t so easy. Neighbors talk and a bad reputation could ruin one’s life.

    There is a diaspora group called Subtle Curry Traits.

    There was a post on “when you like a guy but he happens to be muslim” It got a lot of controversy but likes.

    The opposite post “when you like a guy, but he happens to be hindu” ALSO got a ton of the same. That shocked me because it was contrary to everything I had been told before. In the diaspora, well maybe outside of the UK no go sharia rape gang pak miripuri zones of the UK, the liberalism, even in the aforementioned regard, was surprising.

    And people have to remember. Between S Asians of the same ethnic group, differences, when controlling for caste origin, between Hindus and Muslims are negligible, when it comes to race.

    So this is a cultural phenomena, pure and simple.

    1. India is a completely different story imo.

      I dated a couple of Muslim background women it wasn’t a big deal.

      But the Indian dating scene is different and marriage is more a union of families etc.

  5. Every time I read these kind of deep-dives into Hindu anxieties (whether its about Love Jihad, Birthrates, Common Law, etc), its stuns me how insecure Hindus are. Like, where does this inferiority complex and sense of inadequacy come from?

    Razib has made this observation a couple of times (saying a lot of Hindus have a “born loser” mentality).

    Out of 100 Hindu women maybe 3 will end up with Muslim guys, compared to 2 Muslim women who will end up with Hindu guys. Get a fucking grip.

    Stuff like this is why India ranks so poorly on happiness indexes (even compared to Pakistan). Going through your day with an endless list of imagined anxieties running through your head, reinforced at every turn by your politicians and the media. Pathetic.

    1. Well, India has to deal with a strident and expansionist faith that plays (until recently) a kingmaker role in politics. Perfectly natural and appropriate for Hindus to express antipathy about it. There’s no equivalent for that in Muslim countries, so obviously they don’t have our experiences, and that’s fine.

      1. There’s no equivalent for that in Muslim countries, so obviously they don’t have our experiences, and that’s fine.

        it’s call postcolonialism. all the paranoia about British hegemony in Iran or jews running the world. all over the Muslim world (and china has the same issue re west). really ppl need to move on, but they won’t

        indians have the same issues with ‘britishers’ even though barring covid India is already bigger economically now

    2. After a point these anxieties r universal – and they will play a crucial role in the politics of Europe going forward.
      Even in India these arent just Hindu anxieties – Lot of noise made by Christians over alleged Love Jihad as well.

      1. Right. It’s not an issue intrinsic to Hindus. It’s a matter of the social and political context Hindus face. Lots of countries (not East Asian or Muslim countries because they’re either autocratic and/or monoethnic) will face similar issues and have similar developments.

    3. Changing demography is not imagined. There is statistics showing percentage of Muslim population going up in every state of the Union. Though the rate of change is nowhere near what the Hindus fear. So they will not be a minority in 50 years, but what is a few hundred years in the life of a civilization?
      The UCC is of interest mostly because Hindus naively (and unscientifically) think that limiting Muslims males to one wife will reduce the number of kids they have. Given a choice between the UCC and a population control bill, an overwhelming number of Hindus will prefer the latter.

    4. I dont think those happiness indexes are accurate. Some of them had Afghanistan over India, so i doubt the veracity.

    5. Wasn’t there a brew haha about dark skin Muslim men from India going to Kashmir to marry fair skin Kashmiri women after India removed article 370.

      Also there were concerns about demographic replacement.

  6. Good example of a ‘flexible majority bending to the will of an intolerant minority’. If the majority is more liberal, then they will draw disproportionate harm. These assymetries are not adequately adressed within a liberal framework which purposefully ignores these social dynamics and instead tries to frame it as an individualistic choice. But the range of our choices are often constrained by the community we grew up in and belong to.

    One could add that in Islam, leaving the faith is seen as so extreme that even punishment by death would not be far-fetched for some. This is not a position everyone in that community hold, but they can find support for it within the texts, which is really the core of the issue.

    This is one of the many reasons, in my view, why ‘secularism’ was doomed to fail in India. In Europe, the numbers of moslems are still quite a bit lower and there is greater cultural assimilation – in part because Europeans are even more accomodating than Indians, which only works for a while – so there is not yet the same kind conflict. But it draws closer year by year.

    1. “In Europe, the numbers of moslems are still quite a bit lower and there is greater cultural assimilation – in part because Europeans are even more accomodating than Indians, which only works for a while – so there is not yet the same kind conflict. But it draws closer year by year. ”

      Sweden, France are in the high single digits – and its making swedes and the french very anxious. The recent riots would push it further imo

  7. What the comments above haven’t considered are that the legal implications of a woman converting to Islam for marriage in India is a VERY big issue, as explained well in this Quora answer below by a Goan Christian:

    https://www.quora.com/My-boyfriend-is-forcing-me-to-convert-to-Islam-to-marry-him-What-should-I-do/answer/Allen-Lobo?ch=10&share=94951203&srid=e2WP

    Gist of the above, since India doesn’t have a uniform civil code, Muslim women get a much worse deal compared to women of other religions when it comes divorce, child custody and inheritance. The official nature of the relationship isn’t one of equals.

    1. It’s not a big deal anymore. It’s something the pro-BJP side used to talk about a lot more, but people don’t care much about it these days, for whatever reason.

        1. UCC will help millions of Muslim women. Thus it should be a ‘progressive project’. But the dishonesty of the Indian progressives means it will never be!
          Unfortunately it will do very little to curb Muslim conservatism. Au contraire, it will fuel the siege mentality of the Muslims even further. Just check the Quora link someone posted about conversion to Islam. Most Muslim women respondents (Quora users, so certainly highly educated) there have written how Islam provides amazing rights to women etc etc…
          It is puzzling as to why Hindutva folks spend their political capital on UCC unless they are genuinely guided by egalitarian spirit (which I highly doubt. But may be I am wrong. Many schemes Modi brought did help Muslim women disproportionately after all!) The next Hindutva project should be population control bill. It will create resentment, but will be a game changer in pushing India forward, will help climate change, will corner progressives and perhaps even will diffuse the demographic time bomb! Win-win-win-win.

      1. UCC is like similar to BJP’s “What abt Kashmiri Pandits?”, rhetoric tool to beat liberals, but nothing more than that. Any UCC type law (even if it comes ever) will just be a modified Hindu code bill.

        Dont get y progressive will support pops control bill. Its another dead on arrival bill. No one has that amount of political capital to expend in these useless bills.

        1. “No one has that amount of political capital to expend in these useless bills”
          Why do you think the population control bill will be useless?
          If you mean DOA, then futile, yes. But useless? No!

          1. Currently I guess Indian fertility of growth is 2.2. near the desired 2.1.
            Muslim is 2.6 which is also not very bad – ppl think other options like improved female education, economical growth will automatically reduce it without the Bill.

            Additionally some hindu nationalists feel it’s tough to implement hence might affect Hindu population more due to better compliance

  8. The term LJ itself is quite inflammatory to liberals but it captures aspects of the predatory behaviour perfectly well. As a contextualizer, the term is near perfect. Reality, though, is a bit different.

    I had a friend from school who was the son of a interfaith couple. Father was Hindu (TamBrahm), mother a liberal Muslim from Orissa. He was perfectly well adjusted to Hindu nuances and traditions. In fact I didn’t know he had a Muslim mother till some years ago. But he didn’t know a lot of Tamil, only Hindi.

    One of my neighbours from my childhood were a Muslim couple. After a long time, I realized that the man was Hindu and had converted after marriage to the Muslim lady.

    One of my ex-colleagues, a liberal Muslim, married a TamBrahm and converted her. I was left pondering whether he was really liberal. Might have been parental pressure from his side also. But he did celebrate Diwali and other festivals.

    All of these couples married very young, before turning 25. So age plays a very role, in the sense, most Hindus start looking for their roots and meaning in tradition after turning 30 or so. On the contrary, Indian Ms do not go through a socially ambiguous phase. They are well beaten down into the trad game much earlier on. There are exceptions.

    So anticipating and bottlenecking LJ is a game that primarily older Hindus play. There could be tacit agreement from older Muslims, as the coin does flip either ways.

  9. The worst deal that an Indian can get is to be born as a Muslim woman. Surprisingly, the so called liberals hardly ever focus on their issues but rather pander to the conservative Islamic elements. The inability to realize the problems that conservative Islam brings to the society is amazing. I’ve encountered self described atheist friends throw around buzzwords like Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam while trying to justify them pandering to conservative Muslims. This misuse of Upanishadic phrases by these people is a pet peeve of mine and sometimes makes me wonder if the way of Rshis to limit Vedantic knowledge to Sannyasis was a good idea to prevent its corruption. People like Gandhi have tortured these texts to produce one rubbish idea after another to justify conservative Islam.

    All said and done, good to see at least some self described liberals actually stand up for liberal principles. Nice article!

      1. Very honestly, I care less about them and more about Hindutva. The larger goals of Hindutva of lowering the Muslim fertility rate, ensuring the Muslims aren’t a segregated society and other similar goals can only be achieved if Muslim women become more educated. Thus, even if there’s a push back by the Muslim society or even by Muslim women groups against reforms, I believe the government should steamroll in the necessary changes for the larger benefit of the cohesion of Indian society.

    1. Hindus are around 2.1~2.2 from 2.6 in 2006
      Muslims down to 2.6 from 3.4 in 2006
      Sikhs down to 1.6 from 2 in 2006
      Jains down to 1.2 from 1.6 in 2006
      Christians down to 2 from 2.4 in 2006
      Buddhists down to 1.7 from 2.3 in 2006
      Parsis must be around 1 or lower.

      I would like to see fertility rate @ function of Economy/Education;
      I doubt if you look around those variables religious labels would be overridden. Just taking away 10-20% Upper Middle-Class more Educated Hindu would push the Hindu rate up to 2.3/2.4 IMO;

      1. Gaurav, your guesstimate is off.
        Check out the simple math.

        1) If Hindu upper strata percentage is 20% and overall Hindu growth is 2.2%, then the upper class Hindu will have to have a growth rate of a low 1.4% to give the rest 80% a rate of 2.4%.

        More interestingly,
        2) Lets take the Leftist argument that Lower strata Hindus grow at the same rate as Muslims (2.6%)! then, assuming 20% upper class among Hindus They will have to grow Only at 0.6% to hit the overall number of 2.2%

        3) It gets even more interesting when you factor in the upper class Muslim segment. At a modest 10% (half of the Hindus) and growing at the same Rate of Hindu upper class of 0.6%
        from the calculations above, The Lower Strata has to grow at 2.82% to get to an overall 2.6%

        So the Math simply does not work to support the argument that lower and upper strata grow at the same rate irrespective of religious affiliation and the higher growth rate of Muslims is simply explained by the higher percentage of those being in lower socioeconomic strata!

        Happy to be corrected on this as it was a simple back of the envelope (spreadsheet formula) done in 5 minutes.

        1. your math seems correct; i meant to imply that variation is not just due to religion but disproportionate representation of educated/wealthy classes across communities as well. There are historical reasons for this too – the wealthy and well off Muslims formed Pakistan – So trying to glean everything from religion is wrong imo.
          i would add a caveat – religion could be a variable but not the only variable or even the most important variable.
          Another variable is the educational levels of women – having more than 2 kids if you get married after 21 is less likely (though not difficult) than marrying around 18-19 which significant Indians still do (with disproportionate spread across Religions )

          1. Percentage difference between Hindu-Upper Economic Strata (UES) and Muslim-UES (20% vs 10% in my calculations) would encapsulate/factor-in those educational differences between H and M women. Doing a separate analysis might change the numbers marginally, but not enough to dispute the conclusion drawn above.
            The Marriage age again, is closely correlated to Religion directly. Plus there is a secondary correlation via education to the religion. So it is factored in the calculations already by discounting for UES where appropriate and attributing the rest to religion.
            In my personal observations, there is ample anecdotal evidence of Muslim UES families with 3/4 kids whereas most Hindu/Christian UES ones are typically at 2.
            But the people who have a political need to exclude religious influence on population growth will not even accept your data, let alone your anecdotes.
            You should check out my dialogue(!) with a seemingly highly educated Keralite Christian on this board. He deflected every single piece of evidence I provided. Laughably, when I tried to show him the growth of Churches across Maharashtra, he countered with an article that showed 2500 M/C did Ghar Wapasi in Kerala compared to 1500 conversions out of H.
            If one did some sleuth work by hanging around evangelical boards/WhatsApp groups, they may get all kinds of numbers. The tragedy is, Only HIndutva-motivated people will get those and the lefties will immediately discount those by proclaiming dubious source, they themselves have no incentive to do it and there is no such thing as dispassionate/independent research in India! (as such it is scarce in Humanities anyway)
            I was raised mostly by Seva Dal types and thought I was a progressive (in the classical sense) but these people lump me into Hindutva.
            In doing so, they do two things
            1) Stop the dialogue.
            2) Make me choose.
            I can do 1 so I don’t have to do 2.

  10. I would like to add my points.
    1. Brahmin/rajput/khatriya families tend to be unwilling to let their sons marry a Muslim girl even if she converts. They think of them as inferior.
    2. Islam explicitly mentions that a muslim girl can only marry a Muslim boy but a boy can marry a Christian or a jew too without even converting them. For a Hindu, the girl needs to convert.
    3. Hindu women consider themselves as Indian(sarva Dharma vadapao). Muslim women consider themselves as Muslims. Indian is something that is an identity less important than that of their Muslim identity. So a Hindu girl converting is not that big of a deal.

    I have been exploring this topic for quite some time. I can tell you that the ratio of H women marrying Muslim men and Muslim women marrying Hindu men is 450:1(obviously not accurate but I’ve tried to use as many data points and statistical tools as I possibly could based on the minimal information we have. Kerala govt reports. Special marriage notices etc. ) No anecdotes used.

    1. “I have been exploring this topic for quite some time. I can tell you that the ratio of H women marrying Muslim men and Muslim women marrying Hindu men is 450:1”

      Do you think there might be some under-reporting going on because Muslim women are highly likely to face serious backlash?

  11. Ler’s clean up the notation. Fertility rate does not equal % growth. I know what you mean with your math though

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